For Babo:
Man do I have a lot to tell you.
When I heard your voice for the first time in two years, it was like you had never left. This whole time you were hiding in these VHS tapes, just waiting to be discovered. You captured nearly every moment from my childhood, whether it was running around in my pink sweatsuit or blowing out the candles at my fifth birthday party, it was all there.
Remember how you joked about having recorded Keno running and falling flat on his face at the pool when we lived off Windy Hill? I found that one, too. Having these memories is like having the Pralines ‘N Cream sladoled from Baskin Robbins on a hot summer day in GA. We always made fun of you for getting that flavor but I have to admit, it’s actually pretty good.
So I guess we should pick up where we left off last year — remember when Minela and I had to jump my car after the battery died? Well, you’ll be happy to know that the Hondica is still going strong and I’ve passed it off to Edo.
I drove the Expedition for about half of this year before we decided to sell it. Selling your car was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do. We wanted to keep it until it broke down, believe me, but since I started driving longer distances for work, it made sense to purchase a new car.
From the very moment we walked into the dealership, I flashed back to all the funny stories you used to tell us about when you sold cars back in the day. It was not your favorite job, in fact, it was probably your least favorite, but you did what you had to do to support your family. And you’re going to laugh because everything you told us actually helped me and mom make sure they weren’t ripping us off.
Don’t get me wrong, it was still hard to see her go and I wonder about where she ended up. Probably a car auction somewhere, but I hope the new owners are taking care of her just as well as we did.
Even though I had to fight back tears, we made it out alive. Actually, we made it out with a brand new VW Tiguan. His name is Zlatan.
Right after I drove him home, I started to get all kinds of signs and I’m almost certain they were all from you. When I took him for his first car wash, I was vacuuming the inside and looked up to see a ladybug on the door handle. Sure, ladybugs symbolize good fortune, but they can also be a message from someone who has passed. I couldn’t help but think of you.
Balkan Bred is still growing and it’s helped me cross paths with even more inspiring and incredible people than I could ever imagine. While there will never, ever be anyone just like you, I did meet one person who reminded me a little bit of you.
I didn’t expect it all. I don’t think he did either. I don’t think either of us expected to feel so emotionally connected to each other, but it happened and turns out he has a thing for ladybugs, too. The next time I took my car to get washed, I was on the phone with him and you know what I saw right after? Yup, a ladybug. You’ve always encouraged me to go after my dreams, and he’s done the same. Sometimes I wish he would just follow his heart instead of letting fear get in the way.
Whenever I travel, I feel closer to you. Whether it’s on the corner of Steiner and Hayes Street in San Francisco or inside of Stadion Rođeni in Mostar, you’re always there. Right after we landed in Bosna last summer, we saw the most beautiful rainbow. I remember posting a picture of it and having someone reply saying, “It’s your dad.”
I’m not sure what this letter is going to look like next year, who knows what will change between now and then, but I know one thing’s for sure: you’ll always be listening.