Where I’m From: Igroš, Serbia
Current Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
Favorite Balkan Song: My favorite for about 1.5 years now: Tudja Sreća by Lexington
Favorite Balkan Dish: Krompirići sa Vegetom! (Anything with Vegeta is a Balkan dish, no?)
1. Can you start off by telling us a little bit more about yourself? Where are you originally from and where are you currently living?
Hi! I was born in Chicago, Illinois. However, I don’t think that one’s birthplace defines their roots, so I always say that I am from the village Igroš, Serbia, which is where my dad is from. (My mom is from Kosovo but no longer has a home there, so I have, unfortunately, never visited.)
Igroš is where some of my first memories were formed. I was about four years old when my family moved to Igroš from Chicago. My parents originally planned on moving to Serbia for good; however, my dad had incredible job opportunities in Chicago and could not say no. So, we packed our bags and moved back to Chicago three years later, just in time for me to start first grade. I went to St. Sava Academy, a Serbian, dual-language, private school in Chicago.
2. What does being first-generation mean to you? Feel free to share any challenges you may have experienced while growing up in the United States.
Oh, boy. To me, being first generation means having to fulfill a lot of expectations and do things that best serve your family instead of you at times. Our parents have gone through so, so much. Most of them have endured incredibly difficult pasts that are hard to bounce back from, yet they did! And, they mostly did so just to create better lives for us. It only feels right to do all that we can to give back to them. Sometimes, this means translating bills to English instead of hanging out with friends. Sometimes, this means figuring out your way through college on your own because your parents aren’t familiar with the collegiate system. Sometimes, this means picking plums on vacation instead of going to the pool. But, it’s rare that I deem any of these things as obstacles. Rather, I think they make all of us first generation kiddos stronger and more capable!
As for being first-generation in the eyes of the rest of the world, I think it can be both a blessing and a curse. I always say, “I am a stranger.” In Serbia, I’m American. In America, I’m Serbian. That duality can be quite challenging, especially in the United States. In middle school, my friends wanted to honor that duality and decorated my locker with “Srećan Rodjendan!” but in Cyrillic. I was summoned by a police officer in the middle of one of my classes. She demanded that I tell her what the sign said; she wasn’t content with my response. “How do I know they’re not gang signs?” I still get goosebumps when I recount that event… I think experiences like that, too, define being first-gen.
3. Have you found that your Balkan heritage has always remained at the forefront of your life or have you had times where you’ve tried to hide parts of yourself in order to “fit in” with everyone else?
I do think that my heritage has always remained at the forefront of my life. Despite negative experiences like the one mentioned above, I never tried to hide parts of myself in order to fit in. I was blessed enough to have gone to an incredibly diverse high school and truly believe that most kids felt at least a slight sense of belonging at that school. Chicago is a really beautiful place because of its beautiful people. Most are very accepting and welcoming of everything “foreign” to them. Yay, Chicago!
4. How did you get started with writing poetry? Did it happen by accident or is it something that you’ve always loved doing?
I have been writing poetry since the seventh grade. My seventh-grade ELA teacher required us to journal. If I remember correctly, we had to write three journal entries every week. She said that we could write anything we’d like, as long as it was at least a page long. I remember sitting in my kitchen and looking through the window one afternoon. There was a bird resting on one of the branches of our pear tree, and I started describing it. Lo and behold, I wrote my first poem. I chose it as one of the journal entries that I wanted to get graded on, and my teacher wrote me a note asking if I could type up the poem and give her a copy. That happened twelve years ago, and I have not stopped writing since.
I am an overthinker, but I don’t like to pester people with my issues; therefore, I turn to my pen and paper to alleviate my mind.
5. Do you have a favorite poem or line? What’s the meaning behind it?
Ah! This question is even more difficult than “Favorite Balkan Song!”
I think that I have a current favorite poem. It’s one that I wrote for my future (God willing) daughter. I think our culture is still slightly backwards when it comes to expectations of female vs. male children. I’ve experienced quite a bit of unnecessary pain because of these societal norms, and I hope to teach my daughter to rise above what I couldn’t at times. Here it is:
Ćerku ću da učim:
Da kao vitez bude hrabra,
da kao vojnik oštro korača svim putevima na koje je život navede,
da i kada padne treba da bude izuzetno ponosna na sebe,
da kao stogodišnja baka mudro zbori,
da se ne osvrće na to ko-šta govori,
da joj lepo stoje i pantalone i haljine,
da postoje stvari mnogo bitnije od debljine,
da šminka lice lepim napravi olako,
a lepu dušu ne može da ima svako,
obraz čist da joj bude,
da se ne osvrće na zle ljude,
i ako krenu da je kude,
ili da joj, nepravedno, sude
da kao profesor kaže, na sav glas,
“Izvinite, ali to se ne tiče Vas.”
t.s.
6. How do you believe that we (as diaspora) can continue to keep our culture alive for generations to come?
L a n g u a g e! There is no culture without language, and there is no language without culture. It is incredibly difficult to keep the language alive, especially after so many generations abroad. However, as soon as you start to lose the language, you start losing touch with other aspects/elements of the culture. For example, you won’t be able to read the incredible literature of our people and, unfortunately, a lot of authors’ works have not been translated. Yet, there is so much wealth about our history and culture to discover through those very texts.
As I said, it is incredibly difficult to keep the language alive, but with a little bit of practice every single day, we can do it! I recommend reading short poems or stories, writing a few sentences a day, and speaking just the target language without code-switching. This seems so silly, but my friends in Serbia have put timers on their phones to see how long my sister and I could last without inserting an English word into our conversations. Sadly, I failed at 3 minutes. (In my defense, I arrived from the U.S. the night before!)
7. Anything else you’d like to share with our audience?
- I have 3 awesome siblings: an older sister and two younger brothers.
- I did a 23andMe DNA test, and (drum roll, please) I am 99% Balkan! WOOHOO!
- I danced folklor for 10-ish years!
- I’ve never been to Bosna or Hrvatska and really want to visit soon! Please send recommendations!